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Pages: vanilla sex book gives caning instructions! omg [1]
Author Topic: Vanilla sex book gives caning instructions! omg

Posts: 38

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2011-08-22 19-27-12

vanilla sex book gives caning instructions! omg So I ordered some books on sex from amazon - "Resurrecting Desire," "Arousal - The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies," and "Getting the Sex You Want." (I'm still waiting for "Male Sexuality.") I dove into these books last night and was amazed to find, in the book "Getting the Sex You Want" (by Nelson), sections on sub/dom, "simple caning exercise" (lol!), etc., with explicit instructions for how to spank people, tie them up, etc. It gave theories about BDSM psychology and jived with everything I've read here so far - about how both parties are willing, no real hurt is inflicted, the "master" has to know that the sub is turned on by what's happening, etc. It was a real eye opener and surprisingly (to me) turn-on.
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Posts: 26

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2011-10-09 20-31-49

I have to tell you how extraordinarily refreshing it is to hear you say this!! You would recommend these books then?
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  • fuentez

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    Posts: 35

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    2011-10-17 21-55-16

    Yes, absolutely recommended. I haven't yet started "The Return of Desire" (I had the title wrong). "Arousal" is by Bader. He has a different theory from Nelson about BDSM but also considers it highly "normal." All are available on amazon.
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    Posts: 3

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    2011-11-21 5-53-14-

    Minor thread jack... Hey Healthnutx what is the Latest on the massage boy. I havent been in the FO in awhile so I have missed your updates. Just curious.
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  • croucher

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    Posts: 22

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    2012-01-11 14-01-04

    some semi-weird developments... He has started to ask me for favors, which makes me uncomfortable (prepay massages so he can make rent, write a check to the IRS for him and he gives me cash, wants a stamp, wants to borrow clean sheets for his next client, etc.). All of this, coming from anyone else, would be a turn off. But (to me at least) xyz guy is Eros personified. So I'm still giving it all up at the thought of his face, just lying in bed at night... I'll have to see what happens tomorrow since I sent the "total sensual arousal" email and then backpedalled asking him to pretend it never happened. I think I did that unconsciously, after he started leaning on me for stuff, to tip the balance of power back into his favor. I've been learning a lot about myself and about what turns me on. I need to feel that HE feels he has the upper hand...
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  • villagran

    Posts: 20

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    2012-03-22 16-39-05

    Why can't I find a woman that enthralled lol... But seriously, if those are flags with anyone else, be careful...He might see you as a way out of his difficulties, and be getting laid in the bargain hon.
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  • Siggy

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    Posts: 24

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    2012-06-28 2-05-26-

    Exactly. I'm in deep water and need to keep my wits about me.
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  • jolliffe

    Posts: 20

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    2012-09-20 0-13-08-

    total sensual arousal email? You cant just hang that out there and not tell me more!!! And how did he react to the afore mentioned email?
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    Posts: 15

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    2012-11-17 5-11-20-

    I was coming down with a cold and losing judgment (on the other hand my unconscious may just have been using that as an excuse). After he asked for the favors, I sensed that he was feeling insecure and emailed him that what he is doing is "very valuable" to me and that it was a "total sensual arousal (in a good way)" - not sure what I meant by "in a good way" because how good it possibly be in a bad way? lol I think I was trying to imply that I didn't mean it sexually but of course that's stretching the truth quite a After that I sentmore emails cringing, telling him I can't believe I told him that, that I'm coming down with a cold, please forget I ever said it [aside: of course that's impossible - you can't unring the bell, as the lawyers say], etc. He emailed back "no worries" and wished me a "happy turkey day." Since then he phoned to set up the next appt (which is tomorrow, less than x hours from now) and we were both short and businesslike. The suspense mounts...;-x
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    Posts: 25

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    2012-12-28 12-22-20

    Oh my!!! the plot thickens... Well good for you, or your cold, I dont care who you blame it on, for sort of telling how you feel. Now, like somebody above said, be the careful! But it sounds like your spidey senses are already tingling becuase of the favors he is asking for.last thing, have you ever thought should I say this.... employing this young man... Yeah thats it.... Do you think you could ever hire him for something more than massage?
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  • lorenzen

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    Posts: 44

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    2013-02-27 23-36-52

    have I ever thought - ha! I think about it all the time. But I think this would probably end badly...I can't see through the fog of it. I imagine asking him for "sex therapy" or something. But I think this is probably a terrible way to go. Or would it???
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    Posts: 56

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    2013-03-19 11-45-51

    Sounds like you have the perfect set up. He is obviously cash strapped and could use the dough. It sounds to me like he is into you. So it looks like it could be a win win scenario. But, admitidly I am reading a lot into this situation. Your the onlythat knows for sure. I do really like the idea of proposing a little "sex therapy"!!!! I think you should go for it. I bet you don't find that piece of advice from me shocking. Anyway keep us updated.
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  • Xuong

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    Posts: 45

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    2013-05-08 13-53-05

    Unfortunately, I agree that the circumstances seem to be auspicious for us to go in that direction. I say "unfortunately" because I don't think this should ever happen. So I'll have to be careful. I'll keep you posted. :-)
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  • castaldi

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    2013-05-12 10-52-04

    p.s. - thx for asking :)
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  • digenova

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    2013-09-21 3-51-23-

    not so vanilla book, huh?
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