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Pages: I have never been to a place like that but [1]
Author Topic: I have never been to a place like that but
thinnes

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2011-02-08 2-12-21-

I have never been to a place like that but grabby aint cool. Just because the place is full of swingers doesn't mean they want to be grabbed. I think I would have had to be confrontational as much as I hate it because somebody has to set that guy in place. Either that or get security to confront him for you.
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heiple

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2011-02-10 5-19-53-

In hindsight... Both of you are of course correct. I should have confronted him or said something. Unfortunately I'm not quick for confrontation. I'm usually very measured about things first. I dropped a lot of hints. Plus, some of our friends seemed to know him a bit and so I was hesitant to be like "hey, your friend is a dick!". And finally, if our friends were getting frisky with her that would have been cool. We were there to play around and I was dancing with them etc. And I guess since it was our first time there I wasn't sure what the situation was. Plus my wife can be a mystery in a club. I honestly don't know if she's liking someone or finding them annoying until we leave and she tells me what she thought of them. Because she won't make waves either. That makes it very difficult to step in and start trouble with someone if I'm not sure whether she wants to hang out with them or not. In hindsight I don't like how I handled it, but isn't that always the case? Anyway.. I guess now I'm wondering if this is common at more public swinger's clubs and we should stick to private parties?
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hughette

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2011-02-11 23-36-49

Subtle hints never work on people who are unsubtle. A polite "Please don't touch me, thanks" would be my first response. No major confrontation or ass-kicking necessary.
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brushaber

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2011-02-12 0-08-00-

My wife had the best move... I wasn't thinking about it until now. But at point we were on the dance floor. He was being very creepy as usual. She handed him beers (her's and another she had picked up) and then turned and danced with someone else. And since his hands were full he couldn't be grabby. He stood there for about 5 minutes like a retard and then went back to the bar. I laugh at that now that I think about it.
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wunderlich

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2011-02-13 5-23-11-

That is pretty smoth I would have never thought of that. Of course I am usually the holding somebody else's beer.
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  • agan

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    2011-02-24 21-48-12

    I don't know if it is common And I can understand not wanting to do something when you are unsure. My suggestion is if this bothered you both then come up with a codeword kinda like a safe word. If she tells you that then you need to act. It could be directed to a specific person or your code could be to head somewhere that is separate from your friends so you can talk. Either that or if you both have cell phones you could text each other about things like this.
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  • Takako

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    2011-03-26 9-11-39-

    ^^very good idea!^^
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  • vaclavik

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    2011-06-02 3-21-13-

    Same idea as a safe word just different context
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  • behrman

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    2011-07-23 13-51-16

    My late husband and I had a codeword too. He was not very social, (and I am), so when we were out, if he said that particular word, it meant "I really want out of here" but no around us got offended/hurt. I think that is an excellent suggestion!
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    efimovna

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    2011-08-07 18-52-11

    That is of the best ideas I've heard.. .. as mentioned when my wife is drinking and partying she can be hard to read about what she thinks of people. I like that idea.
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  • mounsey

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    2011-09-17 10-03-18

    I can understand that I can guess at what my wife thinks of people but I don't really know until we talk after. We are usually on the same wave length but not always. So direct yet subtle communication seems to be the solution.
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    hanson

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    2011-09-27 7-43-35-

    Don't let bad apple spoil the whole bunch The guy you describes sounds like a real jerk, but don't let him soil your view on swingers clubs. If you were having a great time before the obnoxious guy showed up, then it was him not the club that left a bad taste in your mouth. Go again, and perhaps you will have an even better time.
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  • Pauli

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    2011-10-13 13-46-22

    True Consider that EVERY forum has at least troll yet we don't let that person ruin the whole thing for everybody.
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  • fesperman

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    2011-11-08 10-39-19

    He sounds like the type who ... thinks because they're at a swingers club, that gives him the right to grab people. I am surprised he didn't walk around with his cock out.
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  • galentine

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    2011-12-29 15-27-01

    I would think that straight out telling him, Please keep your hands to yourself. I'm not comfortable with the way you keep touching my wife. (Or as a woman, I would have had no problem saying, I'm not comfortable with you touching me) If that were ineffective, or if you didn't want to go that route, I'm certain the staff would have been happy to back him off for you. They don't want that sort of thing ruining their reputation. I would hate to see it sour you on the club because creeper got in. Now, if the staff were NOT helpful with the situation, that would be another matter.
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  • faraj

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    2012-02-07 4-03-32-

    How to obtain information about clubs? This sounds like something my husband and I would be interested in going to. Minus the grabby guy of course. How do I get information on club names and locations?
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    cisco

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    2012-03-06 6-06-41-

    We learned about this place through our friends. It's nice that way because you're going with other people too. It was ed Club Manor in NY. I'm sure you could look around online and find places if you do a search. They advertise just like regular clubs.
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    susanna

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    2012-03-11 17-13-16

    Thank you
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    ginty

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    2012-03-12 17-04-56

    Try doing a local online search for BDSM and munches in your area. Some places may only be advertised by word of mouth, so make some friends in the community and you might be surprised by what you find out. :)
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  • locks

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    2012-06-05 8-23-52-

    This place was much softer... As mentioned, it was a swingers club but it was what they ed an "off premises" swingers club. It was like a regular club on premises, maybe a little sexier.
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  • Latisha

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    2012-07-16 0-03-38-

    not everyone with a kink is hardcore. :)
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    Perle

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    2012-10-04 2-57-08-

    Try Encounters in West or North Babylon On Premises Swingers Club..... they have Couples Only nights where it isn't flooded with creepy horny single males..... Also be direct when guys start creeping in.... your Wife and Marriage are more important than causing a scene.... the timed we've been to Encounters with single males there they were very respectful...
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    loss

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    2012-11-15 20-32-52

    Do they serve alcohol? That might be a big minus if not :). But if there's dancing and fun we might give it a shot on couples night.
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    pamer

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    2013-01-21 20-17-11

    Are you going there to drink or Swing? It is BYOB.. they do not sell alcohol.. no On Premises Swingers Club in NY sells alcohol. But you can bring you own alcohol and they'll serve it for you w/o charge. They have a large dance floor, several private, semi-provate and public rooms to play in..... we haven't been there for a couple of years... but we did have fun.
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