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Author Topic: Too, not to.

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2011-05-30 2-18-31-

too, not to.
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2011-07-11 5-01-24-

It can be all or some of what you mentioned... It's very subjective and each D/s couple interprets power exchange differently. At the root, IMHO, A healthy D/s relationship is first based on trust, then communication, then the submissive giving control to the dominant.
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2011-08-22 5-22-30-

what about that whole theory that the sub truly has all the control because he/she can end it at anytime? What do you think? Just curious...
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2011-10-06 13-54-29

^^very good point^^ I often feel this way.....or.....I'm getting topped from the bottom big time!
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2011-12-09 2-55-55-'s a bit tricky isn't it? I prefer the idea that the Dom has all the power. But I suppose that this theory is valid as well. But then again it could be seen as TFTB? *shrugs* It's all so complex ;)
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2012-01-10 23-53-19

I agree that they hold the power to end it But they have little control of what, where, when, etc.... It is a elegant Dance....
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2012-02-03 1-53-55-

Ahh yes.... simple, eloquent and right on target. Good job fng ;)
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2012-04-17 21-32-36

I do believe that is true but no more than the Dom/me having all the power as he/she can overstep limits and boundaries any time. Which potentionally can damage a partner a lot more than safewording or ending a scene. I do agree with that theroy you mentioned, and at times, i almost feel like a princess, lying there bound, taking licks from the flogger, enjoying being pleasured... and I think "look whose getting her way now"... until he whips me a little too hard, then harder, harder... just at the point when i think i can't atke it anymore, he'll start fingering me what a dirty little sex slave I am... all my thoughts of being powerful go right out the window and I turn to jello. THAT part of what I love about submission, so my love of submission is the part where i actually fully let go of control, while he is actively wrencthing (consentually) away from me. I hope that made sensse :P.
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  • Prafula

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    2012-07-30 5-35-33-

    Eithercan end it at any time, no? Is that "power"? I suppose, in a way... though I wouldn't want a relationship defined by a threat. It's more like giving up (or assuming, depending on which side you're on) control, at least temporarily. The sub says, "You get to decide," and allows that to happen. The dom takes that responsibility. But eithercan walk away, or end the arrangement. I would hope though that they each enter that arrangement wanting it.
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  • stefano

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    2012-10-09 16-01-38

    since either partner can end it, so you really can't make that statement work. Kinda the same rationale I (personally) apply to 'slavery' in that you can't truly have/be a slave because the slave can always walk out. Power exchange, IMHO, is about the submissive trusting the Dom/me enough to give up control over certain negotiated aspect of their life. This might be sexual only, or control over everyday things as well.
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    2012-12-05 16-06-18

    thanks guys....
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  • folker

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    2013-02-09 23-53-01

    Hello and thank you
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  • ideleva

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    2013-03-23 13-39-27

    nice thread i don't have anything to add except all relationships are power exchanges people in bdsm ones just tend to talk about it more it's a x%/x% deal to make any relationship work
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    2013-03-23 23-42-42

    Very true...
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  • monier

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    2013-04-16 3-29-33-

    True And you're probably right that I wasn't familiar with the term because it's not regularly discussed in other relationships. The only place I've ever heard of it, or read about it, has been in D/s type relationships. So it was new and unfamiliar to me. Thank you :)
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  • knighten

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    2013-04-22 1-08-34-

    most welcome i like bdsm because it does tend to help people examine more closely their behavior never a bad thing,IME
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    2013-08-12 20-48-40

    No, not at all I think more relationships (and people in general) should practice that.
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  • atworth

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    2013-09-01 7-01-26-

    Exactly...ALL relationships
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